So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
