Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize