now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
