Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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