i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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