HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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