She is in my trunk
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
