I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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