I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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