chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
