I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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