my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
