your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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