I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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