She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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