I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize