I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
