turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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