I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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