God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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