Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I puked a lego.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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