Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
