They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
