Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
