Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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