it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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