I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
