yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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