Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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