Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Shitshow foam night was such a success
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
