Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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