the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
