somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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