Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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