you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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