No period for spring break; use this wisely.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
