i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Hippo gnu deer
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
