I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
