We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He? As in you personified your dick?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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