My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize