I wish I only lived at night.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
