She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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