Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
