Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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