That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
