There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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