Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
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