If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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