thus making me awesome and them whores
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
