there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
