You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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