You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
