I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
