Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize