Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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