I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
