U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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