We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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