You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
