Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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