You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
