There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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