I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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