Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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