I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
