Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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